I never really got around to posting this, but it’s just as relevant as ever. So join me as I speak the truth about way too many Apple fanboy customers.
You, know, Apple users constantly tell “The rest of us” how they and their little religion are always ahead of the curve. Constantly bloviating about how much more technologically advanced they are. More enlightened, more progressive, and, yes, just plane smarter. All the unwashed Linux and Windows users are idiots and should “get with it”, drink the purple Coolade, join them in their little march to the Altar of Jobs and submit before it’s too late. I’ve got sad news for them. I’m very well read when it comes to computer technology. They have innovated nothing. They copied all their “ideas” from others. Everything from the mouse and GUI to smart phones. Don’t believe me, pull your face out of youtube to learn how to drill for the headphone jack in your iphone, and actually look it up. The information, and proof, is all over the Internet like a rash.
Now, does that mean to be cool like an Apple Fanboy I should drill a hole in my $150 Android phone to find a headphone jack, too? How smart would that be? Oh, I forgot, I don’t have to because some loser decided I didn’t need one. And yes, it was $150, does everything the iphone 7 does, just as fast, and, has a headphone jack. You Apple yes men think it doesn’t? Okay, does your $900 cellphone:
*Make phone calls
*Browse the web
*Have a clock/alarm clock
*Have an organizer
*Send/receive email
*Send/receive text messages
*Display a map almost anywhere in the world
*Have a camera
*Have a calendar
*Have a calculator
*Have access to thousands of applications to expand it’s capabilities
Yeah, probably. Now, I’ll tell you what it does have that mine does not:
*Non user serviceable battery
*No headphone jack
*An Apple logo on the back
*A $900 price tag
*A douche bag for an owner
*A douche bag who’s a moron for drilling a hole in it looking for a headphone jack, for an owner
*Oh, I forgot, it does have a better camera
*It’s water resistant because there’s no headphone jack
Big… fat… hairy… deal. So I’ll spend an additional $500 on a REAL camera that even has interchangeable lenses. And, I have yet to drop my phone in the toilet so that it does need to be water resistant. It comes down to this, use whatever products you want, whatever gets you lubricated, I could not give a shit, okay? But at the same time, keep your pie-hole shut about how wrong I am in my same choices.
My whole point while jabbing fun at the Apple Yes-man Community is that you are not any more intelligent than “The rest of us”. On the contrary, you run off to an Apple store hours ahead of opening to get the latest, very expensive, product with an Apple logo on the back. Because you’re told to by some corporate hack. Then, bring it home to drill a hole in it and wonder hopelessly why it won’t “turn on”. No, you’re not intelligent at all, you’re a clueless moron without an inkling as to how electronic devices work.
Palomar Jacks Notes 