Posts Tagged ‘Earth Day’

My Plans for Earth Day

04/21/2011

Which, only coincidentally I’m sure, falls on the dead soviet dictator, Vladimir Lenins birthday (4/22).  One way I’m celebrating is by moving into my house with my wife, that we bought, in the honor of capitalism, in cash. And in just about the most Conservative county in occupied California, Kern County. Cool, huh!

So I’ve got several things to celebrate, here. Moving into my own home, the birth of a leader of a completely failed political concept, Marxism/Communism and a warm-and-fuzzy-feel-good-imaginary-holiday for envrio-nazies. Like Christmas, I’m going to turn on lights to do it, incandescent lights, the most inefficient around. Like Earth Hour, I replace every gay ass CFL with a plain old incandescent lightbulb and turn them on all day. And as I stand there, I think to myself, “Self, that’s not enough, there must be more. So, I also turn my refrigerator as cold as it will go, the hot water heater as hot as it will go and turn on the TV and all of my Amateur Radio gear even if I don’t intend on using them. And yet still, there’s something missing. What could it be? Ah! That’s it, the headlights on my two SUVs are not on. This will not do. But wait, the batteries will got dead. Yeah, that’d make you left wing losers happy, would it not? It would serve me right. But alas, being adept in the “Electronic Arts”, as it were, I’m ahead of you. I could just attach a battery charger to them to fix the problem, but what kind of bloated carbon footprint would that produce? Anemic, at best. Besides,  I’ve got better things to do than run some extension cord out to my vehicles. So, my plan here is to drive them to the gas station, top off the tanks and run the engines while the lights are on. I think I’ll even put up my old fashioned incandescent Christmas lights, too.

Yes, my yard is going to produce a carbon footprint that will offset the efforts of at least ten moronic left wing enviro-nazies attempt to “save the planet”. Come evening time, it will be a sight to behold! So you enviro-nazies have a lot of work ahead of you saving all kinds of energy and resources so I can execute my celebration of freedom, liberty and capitalism buy spending money however I damn well please.

Happy Earth Day, morons.

Earth Hour, Yeah, I Participated

03/29/2011

You bet I did. Here’s how; I replaced every energy efficient CFL with a very in-efficient incandescent lightbulb, set my refrigerator to maximum, set the thermostat to 85 degrees, turned on all the yard lights and let ALL of my Amateur Radio gear idle even though I did not intend on using it. And last, but not least, turned on the headlights in both of my cars and started the engines so the batteries would not go dead. I tell you, my yard was a virtual cornucopia of light and CO2 pollution, I was proud.

I did that last year, too.

You see, during Earth Hour I don’t celebrate some moronic anti-global warming warm-and-fuzzy bunch of symbolic crap. I celebrate the achievements of Western Civilization. I celebrate a time when, as Micheal Savage says, the chrome was thick and the women were straight. I celebrate two of my interests, electricity and electronics. Tell me, how the hell can I do that in a darkened room? I can’t, and I won’t.

So, what’s my plans for Vladimir Lenin, the Russian Marxist revolutionaries birthday? Probably the same thing. Now, for you left wing morons, why did I say Lenins birthday? Well, once again, if you did not vote for Obama and do not participate in Earth Hour the “accepted” way, you have an IQ well past 100 and know what is significant about Lenins birthday. It’s April 22. Sound familiar? Yup, Earth Day. My, what coincidence. Anyway, that’s right, for 24 hours I’m going to use more energy than any 10 left wing hippie Earth Firsters can save, because I can, and because I can afford it. That’s right, I’m going to offset the stupidity of at least ten losers by using the energy they save to increase the profits of energy companies, because in my book, they are the real hero’s in the advancement of Western Civilization. Not some left wing weenie morons with too much time on their hands.