Posts Tagged ‘CFL’

My Plans for Earth Day

04/21/2011

Which, only coincidentally I’m sure, falls on the dead soviet dictator, Vladimir Lenins birthday (4/22).  One way I’m celebrating is by moving into my house with my wife, that we bought, in the honor of capitalism, in cash. And in just about the most Conservative county in occupied California, Kern County. Cool, huh!

So I’ve got several things to celebrate, here. Moving into my own home, the birth of a leader of a completely failed political concept, Marxism/Communism and a warm-and-fuzzy-feel-good-imaginary-holiday for envrio-nazies. Like Christmas, I’m going to turn on lights to do it, incandescent lights, the most inefficient around. Like Earth Hour, I replace every gay ass CFL with a plain old incandescent lightbulb and turn them on all day. And as I stand there, I think to myself, “Self, that’s not enough, there must be more. So, I also turn my refrigerator as cold as it will go, the hot water heater as hot as it will go and turn on the TV and all of my Amateur Radio gear even if I don’t intend on using them. And yet still, there’s something missing. What could it be? Ah! That’s it, the headlights on my two SUVs are not on. This will not do. But wait, the batteries will got dead. Yeah, that’d make you left wing losers happy, would it not? It would serve me right. But alas, being adept in the “Electronic Arts”, as it were, I’m ahead of you. I could just attach a battery charger to them to fix the problem, but what kind of bloated carbon footprint would that produce? Anemic, at best. Besides,  I’ve got better things to do than run some extension cord out to my vehicles. So, my plan here is to drive them to the gas station, top off the tanks and run the engines while the lights are on. I think I’ll even put up my old fashioned incandescent Christmas lights, too.

Yes, my yard is going to produce a carbon footprint that will offset the efforts of at least ten moronic left wing enviro-nazies attempt to “save the planet”. Come evening time, it will be a sight to behold! So you enviro-nazies have a lot of work ahead of you saving all kinds of energy and resources so I can execute my celebration of freedom, liberty and capitalism buy spending money however I damn well please.

Happy Earth Day, morons.